


Suicide

by SweetDreams828



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetDreams828/pseuds/SweetDreams828
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John just can't cope with the lost of his best friend, so he decides to go to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fiction I've done in years so please leave me comments!

Mary would one day forgive me for what I am about to do. Surly she will. She's quite the forgiving type. And I would make sure that she wouldn't be the one to find the body. Mrs. Hudson either, some stranger. I would just set an email to send to Lestrad explaining why. Three hours after the fact would surely be perfect give him one last mystery.   
The first three months after had been the worst of my life. I couldn't even go near Baker Street. Seeing a police officer or even a crime on the Telly would set me off again. I just couldn't cope with losing my best friend. My only friend.   
My therapist was so scared that I would do this. Turns out she was right, she was right about a lot of things. Mary had helped a little in keeping me alive as long as she did but it just wasn't enough. It wasn't fair to her either, I am damaged goods. The only person I would ever love, gone. And now I would join him from where it all started.   
The hospital was dead quiet when I arrived. But then again at two in the morning not many people were up and around. Getting on the roof was too easy. No one bothered to stop me, check any identification. No one wondered why an army doctor was in the hospital this late. It just goes to show that the only one who ever really cared was gone.  
The blood stain had long since faded from the devil that had caused all of this madness. He didn't deserve the easy way out that he took. Sitting on the ledge I looked over saw where I was standing that fateful day. The day that he reached out to me and there was nothing that I could do to stop him. The day that the world ended.  
"Oh Sherlock, we will be together again soon. Wait for me."

 

Leaving John, I knew he wouldn't be able to handle the loss. I knew he would end up doing something stupid. But I had to. Leaving him was harder than leaving my cases. But then again I didn't really have to leave my cases. I just had to plant suggestions into people’s heads as the new cases came about.  
Most of my time however was spent monitoring John. Mycroft made it so easy, having put him on watch after my death. And hacking into the servers was childs play. A few cameras of my own in his new flat and I had no problems what so ever in keeping a constant eye on him. It was a good thing too.   
The first few months he wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't do anything but breathe. I could see and feel his pain. I owe a great debt to Lestrade for keeping him from dying on me, for keeping him going when I couldn't.  
He started to make an improvement when Lestrade pulled him in on cases, let him re-enter the element. His public life seemed to improve but once he got behind closed doors it was all the same. All the pain and frustration, the violent dreams and outbursts the anger the drinking the crying.   
It was all I could do to stay dead, but Moriartys threat still hung over my head, so I stayed dead. A year and a half after my death is when it finally happened. I knew what he was thinking and I couldn't find a way to alert someone to the danger that was fast approaching.   
Even Mary didn't see it coming, the woman who had done the most for John. Kept him alive, and on occasion happy.  
He was late in getting home which went totally against his schedule. Lestrad didn't have a case for him and he should have arrived thirty minutes ago, even if he had walked. My nerves were ever unsettled, so I started the hunt, looking everywhere that he may have gone. All his usual hunting grounds were bare of any trace of him.  
Where would a still grieving John go? Baker Street was empty. So was his work. He had to be somewhere he couldn't have just vanished into the ground.   
Think think think what was he thinking. The only thing that he had been saying lately was my name, over and over again. Begging me not to jump! The hospital!   
Sure enough he had just arrived. Hopefully security would be able to hold him off the five minutes it would take for me to arrive.   
Don't do anything stupid John! I am coming for you!

 

The ledge was cold and hard, snow started to fall silently and swiftly. It was snowing the day he died too. I wonder if I will see him again. I wonder.   
No point in waiting. I climb onto the ledge standing where he stood looking around. It was truly beautiful at night. Sherlock will you be waiting for me?   
"John!"   
I can already hear his voice. He's calling to me already.  
"John you fool look down at me! I'm here I’m alive! LOOK AT ME!"  
I look down and all i see is darkness. A small pool of light illuminates where he landed, where I will land.  
"John stay where you are!"   
I smile. He wants me to stay in this hell without him. Not a chance.   
"Sherlock I am coming for you."  
Looking down for my last time I see him, see him waiting on me to join him as an angel. I wonder if it will hurt.  
"John don't jump! I'm alive! DON'T JUMP!"  
Sherlock, I love you. I push myself forward over the edge. The air feels icy screaming past me, pulling me down to my death. To my Sherlock. To my fantasy. 

 

"JOHN NO!"   
His body hits the pavement with a loud sickening thump. Bones break and he is sputtering life.  
I rush over to my only friend. He's covered in blood and only has moments to live. Nothing will save him.  
"You foolish fool! If only you could have waited!"   
I bend over and hold him, cradle him to my chest.   
"Sherlock... your here...you came to bring me to Heaven?"  
"Yes John, I’m here. I love you John."   
"I love y...."   
His last words are chocked off with a spattering of blood from his mouth.  
"Oh John, if only I hadn't fooled you like this, if only I hadn't left you."   
Tears poured down my face blinding my vision. I wouldn't leave him. I would join him.   
Out of my coat pocket I pull the pistol I took from him after my first death. Place the chamber to my temple and pull the trigger.


End file.
